I've had the strangest childhood. I spent it climbing trees by myself, thinking I could talk to animals, thinking I had telekenisis. I was ALWAYS outside, and when I wasn't... I wrote.
I begged my father for a laptop for years. Finally he got me this crappy big bulky one, and I went to town with it. I had at least eight floppy disks with two or three half-finished stories on it. I had good ideas, but I couldnt get them out right.
I wanted to paint, also. So that way if I couldn't get an idea out, I could show someone what I was thinking. But the problem was, I wasnt good at painting... drawing, yes, but I had no experience with drawing... so... it looked kinda bad...
When I was little I was the bully. People were afraid of me and I pretended to be the big bad monster. I had friends, yes I had tons of friends, but everyone else was so critical... how a skinny, short, eight year old girl with a pony tail could scare someone, I don't know. Maybe it was my attitude.
Once I wanted to be an oceanographer. I still do, because the ocean is so beautiful. But science isnt my strong suit, and I've always wanted to do something with the arts, whether it be drawing, writing, painting, music, or singing. So I figure I'll do a bit of all of it.
Growing up, I was always so shy. I had such low confidence I wouldn't even talk to new people. I don't know what changed that, but I'm more confident now and don't shy away from talking in most classes. Though the shyness creeps in sometimes... stunning me into silence.
Oh, another thing that is a major influence in my life. I'm into witchcraft. Yes, freak out all you want I don't really care I've heard it all. I'm not so much into it as I used to be, but I still believe alot of it. I always argue points (I argue well) and I know enough about other religions to have a general idea about what its about. Also, I have these problems with... my mind I guess you could say... Horror movies (though I love watching them) scare the hell out of me after I'm done watching them. My overactive imagination has caused many problems for me, but strangely enough, after I started taking this fiction class and writing everything down, they've gone away a bit... could also be I stopped watching those movies. I've always been intruiged with the mystical and magical.. Like dragons. Past lives I believe I've been a dragon... Don't ask me why. And also a vampire... Now you think I'm a strange crazy person but who cares. Send the people in white coats for all I care. I'm not crazy. I know I'm not crazy.
Theres also the lucid dreaming... being awake in your dreams. I can do that by will. I can realize I'm in my dream, and I can do anything I want to. I've had so many strange adventures in my dreams.. maybe I should write about that too...
The most recent thing in my life is my parents who have been married for 20 years are getting a divorice.. Its horrible because my aunt is keeping my cousin away from our family. Shes blaming the entire thing on my mother... Who has issues of her own thankyou very much. Theres alot of hidden things I dont feel inclined to share with you on here so deal with it. My father also is having alot of depression problems and my brother hordes all his emotions inside him, so I'm just a big ball of worry. Everyone in my family is divoriced now.. Except my grandparents who "ran away" as they say, to Floridia. I have hardly anyone I look up to now.. My family is covering themselves in secrets and theyre hurtful secrets.. My family is just a bunch of random people who happen to be connected by blood.. And I dont even know half my family! They're in Arizona, Nevada, South Korea, Floridia, Ohio and who knows where else.. They only person I can go to for support is my boyfriend. My fiance if you will. Hes there for me when I need him.. We have our arguments like everyone else... But we'll make it..
Sometimes I wish I had someone else to talk to though. Like someone who knows me, but no one else in my family and can't judge them..
Well... I'm probably starting to bore you.. I've so much more to tell you, but it would take many pages and many blogs to explain it all...I've been told I should write a book about my life, but it'd take too long...
Thanks for listening... or reading... ciao.
